Dunch noe wat u mean

Dunch Noe on Sol

2010-03-13T09:24:00.002+08:00

Anyone need a tee-design? I am now in Sol Enterprise which is doing tee-designs.

See you!

Dunch Noe on 2010

2009-12-28T11:49:00.003+08:00

Dunch Noe wishes you a Happy New Year! This is my new year's resolution.

Resolution 1 - Service restarted.
Resolution 2 - Server restarted.
Resolution 3 - Vendor changed hardware.
Resolution 4 - Faulty hardware replaced by vendor.

Thank you!

Dunch Noe versus PMS

2009-12-20T13:16:00.002+08:00

No, it is not the time of the month for the women. But it was the month of the time for the servers.

Performing a preventive maintenance schedule is basically doing windows updates on the servers. You just need to be careful when swinging clusters before server restart. Similarly, you need to be careful with the domain controllers.

It is easy but time consuming. Life seemed good at the new place. At least I play with servers, remote in to users to solve problems now.

Not much trouble guiding aunties and uncles nowadays. Just get them to allow remote that's all.

Dunch Noe on 9-1

2009-11-24T10:41:00.003+08:00

The biggest moment for Tottenham Hotspurs arrived with a deadly bang. Jermaine Defoe, probably the best English striker, banged in 5 with deadly precision.

While detractors may always say that the reason is the opposition is so poor to start with, let's not forget that the keeper gave him a tight angle to drive his shots in.

What Defoe offers in comparison to the other strikers is the deadly precision which Keane lacks. Keane can shoot from range, Defoe can't. Crouch can head with ease, Defoe can't. What Defoe can do, is shoot from tight angles which most of the current crop of strikers in EPL can't. I don't see Rooney or Drogba doing anything like that. Fluid and accurate.

Then again. This is just one game. We will see again.

Dunch Noe how to go there

2009-11-19T17:56:00.007+08:00

Refer to the maps on the left. Singaporeans are spoilt for choice.

Don't know how to get to a location? Try these (in respective order):

GoogleMaps - Singapore
www.streetdirectory.com
Gothere.sg

=X

Dunch Noe is Retiring

2009-11-18T08:55:00.002+08:00

Officially, I had announced to my employers that I cannot service the Untees and Unkers anymore.

Then I will go on to support other people again. Maybe, I can have the time to perform some self-learning at the new place.

Dunch Noe is Hiring!

2009-11-15T18:51:00.002+08:00

Criteria for Job Application

- Able to create a web-site with PHP, HTML, XML.
- Able to document and create modules for web query, database
- Able to draft basic skeleton design for pre-launch
- Capable of working independently

The most important thing is that this designer must be willing to perform the task during free-time, devoted and passionate.

If you know anyone, let me know. We are accepting only 1 applicant for this major project we are working on.

Dunch Noe on 2 week hiatus

2009-11-07T11:17:00.002+08:00

Dear all,

I will be on a 2 week hiatus at least. As you are aware, I only perform certain duties in diligence under certain circumstances. Thus, it is not possible to update my blog while I am enjoying a break.

I know everyone will say that I have the most free time during this period and should do everything to keep in touch.

Unfortunately, that is for those who under-estimate me. I will stay out of touch during this period for personal enhancement and I don't mean the blue pills.

I mean I will be sending resumes and finding an employer who will benefit from my skills.

Regards,
Dunch Noe
Your Friendly-Neighbourhood-IT-not-so-Specialist.

Dunch Noe on Japanese

2009-10-29T14:11:00.006+08:00

Well, when we thought Singapore Uncles and Aunties were bad enough...

Here comes Mr Japanese and his very interesting e-mail.

Now, please, I'm not bashing him for his English, but his unhealthy lifestyle that makes Japan a country of paedo-loli-lovers, suiciders, hello-kitty-lovers, ~~wankers~~ workaholics, perverts, train groping maniacs and hentai-watching sado-masochists.

Here's a little excerpt from our friend from the land of the rising sun:

One after one . always something new screen came up
And each time, It is so difficult to figure out how to do.
Is there any Guide book to teach how to do step by step ?

Your prompt reply would be very appreciated.
I will be working this weekend, too, until getting my goal.
Hopeful, you will be working in weekend, too.

Here's my thoughts to our friend:

Your relentless pursuit is appreciated as much as the haiku,
And each time, it is so difficult to tell you what to do.
Guide Book is for video-games and instruction manuals is all you need.

Thank you for appreciating my thoughts.
You are working this weekend too until you score hat-trick.
I am at home laughing at you.

Now, it is really tough to write like how our friend did. Luckily, he didn't send any more e-mails.

=P

Dunch Noe is now training new staff

2009-10-15T17:23:00.002+08:00

If you were asking about the hiatus, yes I'm now hardly on my system due to inactivity. I'm not talking about exercising. I was never planning on exercising.

The replacement staff came and as usual, the trainer trains the trainee in the training during the work. As the trainer, you touch less of the PC and hola, you don't seemed to see me lying about to touch on the blog.

I am happy that I did not install the visit counter or I will be humilated by the digits that failed to change every day.

No, I don't blog at home. You do well to know I blog during my 'free' time.

=P

Dunch Noe on hiatus

2009-10-06T08:51:00.004+08:00

The last update was quite some time ago. Yes, it means I have been extremely busy.

Well, I didn't run out things to write about, I can blabble on about the Auntie who asked me what she should update in the application form for her education. It's not like her Bachelor in Applied Science is a terrible piece of work.

The truth is, I can hardly find the little time to keep this space updated and if I really do, it must be really cool. Enough of the idle chatter. I'll try to make an entry in this space once I find the time.

BTW, it wasn't due to the event in the mmorpg I play.... Oh well...

=X

weirdest dream ever

2009-09-26T09:29:00.001+08:00

i dreamt i have a son, 2-3 mths old max.
i got involved in a weird accident... lifts that has emergency parachutes o.o

fill in the blanks later when i got more time... ie when i'm waitin for dp to start.

Dunch Noe on Console Wars

2009-09-24T13:45:00.005+08:00

The recent console wars left Gamers wondering - "What happened to Sony PS3"?

Playstation 3 was once touted as the next generation gaming console with the Blueray technology, but recent reports for PS3 had been grim.

The failure of Playstation 3 was simply purely economics. Game Makers are a fickle bunch. They loved good graphics, they loved to create games that appeals to all and they wants their product to be marketed to as many users as possible.

This means that you are getting fewer 'exclusive' titles and you are getting games that are highly portable. In the console price war, Sony PS3 failed against Nintendo Wii and Xbox 360. That means the gamers will go for the cheaper consoles since it is more affordable. More gamers on cheaper consoles means more titles released to the console.

Statistics don't lie. Game producers are aware of the cost and will only port to PS3 after initial success on other cheaper platforms. Moreover, with the launch of more MMORPGs, the decline of PS3 has been rapid.

Furthermore, the magic of console wars was lost in PS3. The success of the Sega Genesis Megadrive over Nintendo Entertainment System was the controller. Similar, Nintendo fought back using the SNES. Then came Playstation and Playstation 2 with the dual-shock controllers. Nintendo then introduced Wii.

Perhaps, they should look at introducing a new controller type to advocate a new playing style in PS3. Gamers are too tired of the buttons mashing with vibrating controllers. They need something special.

=X

Dunch Noe went to Con-Mex

2009-09-16T17:38:00.002+08:00

Another sardine day. I am still amazed at the number of ~~suckers~~ people who are drawn to buy very powderful systems.

While I do not appreciate the need to squeeze, I find it a burden to attend such a ~~mass orgy~~ ill-prepared event.

The amount that you saved traveling to buy something there, you probably paid more in taxi fare back home.

Oh well, I love public transport.

=P

Dunch Noe on Fast Flip

2009-09-15T12:43:00.008+08:00

Internet Search Engine, Google, had released its latest news reader called "Fast Flip" for easier searching on news on the Internet.

The mobile version of the Fast Flip seems to be also a very interesting concept of the same thing provided to users.

However, the drawback seemed to be the lack of customization currently available for existing Gmail account owners (whereas another apps, iGoogle, can be customized)

Perhaps this will be known as fast flop if nothing is being done to improve it to allow users to customize.

You may access it on this link : Click here for Fast Flop!

=X

Dunch Noe was Busy

2009-09-10T16:25:00.002+08:00

They say that when you are not free - you are busy.

I say that when you are busy, you are not free. When you are not free, you are not making time to be free.

I know I haven't been updating my blog regularly but commitments in life takes up the time used for private moments.

I won't be the first to suggest about turning back time but I would be saying the value of turning back time is counted only to improve the situation using the knowledge acquired from knowing what will happen. If the time was turned back and without prior knowledge and if the actions doesn't change the situation then there is little gained in turning back time.

Maybe I should start writing books on philosophy and get famous before/after I die. Perhaps you can glimpse why I was absorbed into hiatus.

=X

Dunch Noe is now Freeway Warrior

2009-09-07T11:36:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I am bored at work, thus I was exploring the web again.

Went back into this free online print of Joe Dever's Gamebooks and started my Ub3r character in Freeway Warrior.

For those clueless about Gamebooks, gamebooks are basically paperbacks RPG games that you flipped page 7 to 108 then to 35 again like a madman to fight your enemies, scribbling on a piece of paper and erasing the entries to update the action char again.

For those fans of the dreaded gamebooks : Visit Me!

=X

Dunch Noe on H1N1

2009-09-04T12:17:00.003+08:00

Pigs, otherwise, known as mother of the Influenza A, H1N1, were imported to Singapore from Indonesia and found to contain strains of the H1N1 virus.

As such, if you are eating pork, make sure you cook in high temperature. Who knows if you have taken ill due to H1N1?

If you are a pork addict, please keep your body healthy.

AVA is stepping up on their checks on those hogs, but if you want to stay clear of H1N1, please take the spaceship to Mars.

=P

Dunch Noe on Comex

2009-09-03T18:57:00.003+08:00

Comex is in Singapore again. Are you going for the squeeze? If you are, please remember that there is nothing special except that you see more/less vendors trying to blood you.

=X

Dunch Noe on Marvel

2009-09-01T10:37:00.005+08:00

Spidey on the left is reported to join the Walt Disney Company after Mickey Mouse committed a crime against South Park Character named Kenny.

Okay, I was joking.

The Walt Disney Company had tabled a $4 billion dollars bid to buy Marvel Comics.

I think I am better looking than spidey and come by much cheaper at $2 billion Sing dollars.

Any buyers?

For the news report, refer to the link

Dunch Noe on September (to-do-list)

2009-08-31T12:21:00.004+08:00

September is the month when Dunch Noe and Dunch Care signed the "toilet" paper.
September is the month before the month Dunch Care was born.
September is the month which RappelzUS is going to give me my free RP.

I'm not so fond of September. Then again, I'm not fond of any of the months.

So why blog about September, you'd asked?

Well, just using the blog to pen my to-do-list:

1. ~~Get a healthy lifestyle.~~ Go book RT and just attend the sessions. Attendance is compulsory, hardwork is not compulsory.
2. ~~Get a wealthy lifestyle.~~ Go get something for wedding anniversary, then get ready something for Dunch Care's birthday.
3. ~~Get a happy lifestyle.~~ Go grind and get my RappelzUS BS to lvl 60 to get my yeti.
4. ~~Get a steady lifestyle.~~ Go submit more resumes and see if a good paying job comes around.
5. ~~Get a trendy lifestyle.~~ Go buy some new clothes. It is 3 years since I last spent on Tees I wear everyday.

Return of Dunch Noe & Dunch Care

2009-08-27T16:09:00.003+08:00

To satisfy the growing need of the community of visitors of (6, probably 7) who waste 5 mins ~~daily~~, weekly. I decided to provide the latest photographs of ourselves.

Of course, I'm not denying you the chance to make one for yourselves.

Refer to the SP-Studio if you find a growing need to show your real pictures to the world.

=P

Dunch Noe on 'Freebies'

2009-08-27T10:47:00.004+08:00

Most people are naturally inclined to provide personal details on their favorite application online without knowing that they are contributing to a database made by Snoops.

Snooping or phishing is a commonly practised white-collar 'crime' that is yet to be penalized online. Unlike libel, copyright infringement that are commonly fought for, snooping is something most surfers are oblivious to.

Say for example, by placing your personal information in facebook, you are contributing to a possibility where facebook applications will extract these information when collecting 'customer database'. This is an infringement. Your personal habits is tracked. Your activity time is recorded. And by saying 'I agree' to the irritating windows that prompted you by the facebook applications, you legalized their snooping.

When sufficient data had been collected from 'customers', these Snoops can perform a certain range of activities where they use this information to their benefits.

The usual (but not limited to):
- Providing the information to another company at a cost, e.g. Advertisement companies seeking to sell their products
- Selling the latest news
- Using security information like address, name, identity number to create fake charge cards (credit cards) for frauds, forgeries, scams
- Blackmail the person

So if you have something to lose, don't provide any personal detail over the Internet. Bogus/Alias/Half-truths is savvy.

BTW, my health condition is moving towards green now.

=P

Dunch Noe is Sick

2009-08-24T11:12:00.003+08:00

My throat hurts, my head is spinning and you are wondering why I am at work.

Yea, I'll probably go on half-day mc to see my doctor.

Yesterday, Dunch Care woke me 2 up twice. I simply knocked out at 7pm half-way through the configuration of the router. I guess that is a sign of illness. Then knocked out again at around 8pm half-way through the configuration of the router.

Can I get MC for the entire year please? I am not feeling well doctor....

Dunch Noe on Ame

2009-08-23T01:11:00.002+08:00

The Rain, the Wind, the Thunder and the Lightning.

*yawns*

The Thunder woke me up.

The Lightning flashed.

Then the Rain came in from the window and I am worried my PC was drowned as the Wind carried it further.

*closed the window*

Can't sleep now.

o.O

Dunch Noe on Drinks Dispenser

2009-08-21T11:03:00.009+08:00

There are 3 drinks dispensers at my office canteen and the machines are beside each other. The prices seemed alright until you compare the F&N Coca-Cola Machine against the other 2.

The F&N Coca-Cola Machine:
- $1.10, F&N Coca-Cola
- $1.10, Seasons Soyabean
- $1.10, Seasons Chrysanthemum Tea
- $1.10, Seasons Lemon Tea
- $1.20, A&W Root Beer
- $1.20, Heaven and Earth Green Tea
- $1.20, F&N Coca-Cola Light
- $1.30, Nestle Coffee
- $1.30, F&N 100 Plus

The Snack Machine:
- $0.90, Super Green Tea
- $0.90, Super Glass Jelly
- $1.00, Super Bird Nest
- $1.00, F&N Coca-Cola
- $1.00, F&N 100 Plus

The Yeo Hiap Seng Machine:
- $1.00, F&N Coca-Cola
- $1.00, F&N 100 Plus
- $1.00, Pokka Green Tea
- $1.20, Nestle Coffee
- $1.20, Yeo Hiap Seng Lemon Barley (500ml bottle)
- $1.20, Yeo Hiap Seng Lychee (500ml bottle)
- $1.20, Pokka Apple Tea (500ml bottle)
(tbc-ed)

Wow, F&N drinks dispenser are definitely more expensive than others.

Dunch Noe vs IT Specialist

2009-08-20T13:16:00.003+08:00

Here's an example of braindead:

E-mail from the dumb IT specialist

Please advise if the e-mail was indeed blocked at receiver's end as suggested by the SMTP server support.

E-mail to the dumb IT specialist

We cannot advise on receiver's end response as it is not our server.

Seriously, I need a crystal ball to see other people's server.

}=[

Dunch Noe on OpenNet

2009-08-19T10:03:00.007+08:00

As everyone is aware, I am still waiting for the OpenNet one consortium to roll out the installations and enroll as one of the users by end of the year.

Unfortunately, for my home installation, OpenNet had targeted the area to be ready for installation by Sep 2011 to Nov 2011.

But the roll-out is scheduled for Sep 2009 to Nov 2009 for my Mom's place and thus I'll be working on it to install my home server on my Mom's place in my brother's room.

For those folks who wish to be part of the information highway, let me know.

Click here to read : OpenNet

Dunch Noe on Games

2009-08-18T11:25:00.005+08:00

List your favorites:

Action-Adventure:
Maze Game - Pac-Man
Action Game - Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Stealth Game - Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Survival-Horror Game - Fatal Frame II : Crimson Butterfly
Sandbox Game - Grand Theft Auto 3: Vice City

Action-Fighter:
2D Fighting game - Capcom vs. SNK 2: Millonaire Fighting 2001
3D Fighting game - Not fond of 3D Fighting Games
2D Beat 'em up game - Dungeons & Dragons: Shadow over Mystara
2D Hack and Slash game - Dungeons & Dragons: Shadow over Mystara
3D Beat 'em up game - Sengoku Musou
3D Hack and Slash game - Sengoku Musou

Action-Shooter:
FPS game (single-player) - Fatal Frame II : Crimson Butterfly (hahaha, I shoot using Camera Obscura)
FPS game (multi-player) - Left 4 Dead
3PS game (single-player) - Grand Theft Auto 3: Vice City
MMOFPS game (multi-player) - Never played MMOFPS
Shoot 'em up - Metal Slug 3

Role-Playing:
RPG Game - Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions
TRPG Game - Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions
Action RPG Game - Diablo II: Lord of Destruction
MMORPG - Lineage II: The Chaotic Chronicle

Simulation:
God Game - Dungeon Keeper
Flight simulation game - Never liked Flight simulation game
Life simulation game - The Sims
Building simulation game - SimCity 2000
Business simulation game - Pizza Tycoon
Pet-raising simulation game - Monster Farm 3
MMO simulation game - Never played MMO simulation game

Sports
Virtual Sports game - Speedball 2: Brutal Deluxe
Football (soccer) game - FIFA 2003
Skating game - Tony Hawk's Pro Skating 3
Racing game - Burnout 3: Takedown
MMO Racing game - Never played MMO Racing

Strategy
RTS game (single-player) - Starcraft: Brood War
RTS game (multi-player) - Starcraft: Brood War
MMORTS game - Shattered Galaxy
Turn-based Strategy game - Romance of the Three Kingdoms III: Dragon Destiny

Wow, so many games.

=)

Dunch Noe on Thieving

2009-08-17T16:47:00.003+08:00

While my previous article was on a controversial subject, in particular of interest to many whose hormones will jump at the word ' Rape ', similarly, this entry contains another story to make your heart skip a beat.

The beautiful dead korean actress on the right, had left her grave and empty liquor bottles were found near the desecrated tomb where her body used to be.

Maybe, the fans could not believe she hung herself so they dug her out to confirm. I think this is seriously cool since they might consider learning a trick from the Modern Prometheus and make a living zombie out of her.

Either that or some crazy korean women who think eating her ash can make them beautiful.

=X

Dunch Noe on Raping

2009-08-17T09:46:00.006+08:00

While it is unlawful to rape an unwilling victim (I doubt it is considered rape if the victim is willing), there are ways in which the victim presents the chance for us to victimize them. For one such nuisance party emerged and challenged our home base in the world we called RappelzSEA when most of our top players had retired and went to other games knowing that the server will be closing in August.

Our dearest mate and current Guild Master, Control, rang the bell for the Call to Arms. Our assembled army of 22 came down and saw a party of less than 8 attackers. Based on our intelligence, we confirmed that our victims were lower levels than our top players and we can wipe them out with only 4/22 players.

In this latest picture, we can see two ready rapists getting ready to rape unsuspecting victims when they spawn near their switch rock. Instead of destroying their attacking point, we allowed them to spawn and feed our need for playing-killing.

As the episode drags further on, our unsuspecting victims realized that they were outmatched even on a 1v1 situation for most of our veteran rapists. They decided to end their torture session with a "return to town scroll".

We will like to thank the victims for our rape fest on 16/08/09 for being unsporting to attack the dungeon when the server is closing and we return our thanks by murdering every mother-son and their pets.

Congratulations to all who turned up and manage to rape the victims. My frag count was 6/0 for players and 5/0 for pets (2 evo-1 bps, 1 evo-2 bp, 1 evo-2 yeti, 1 evo-3 hawk).

I also exploded my evo-3 yeti twice for the fun of it.

=P

Dunch Noe on interesting logos

2009-08-14T13:20:00.005+08:00

Here is an interesting logo I had come across >>>
Perhaps, someone can explain to me the symbolic definition for this.

Dunch Noe on Dunch Care

2009-08-13T12:22:00.002+08:00

For those curious visitors, this is our great Dunch Care. As the saying goes, 'a picture says a thousand words', I believe this is a good representation of her. Nonetheless, at least you can be sure that this photograph was taken with Canon Ixus with higher resolution and therefore you can see more colours in this photograph than mine.

Dunch Noe on Naked News Korea

2009-08-13T10:51:00.010+08:00

Perhaps after the great Ponzi scam from Bernard Madoff, the koreans were inspired to create another whirlwind scam.

Duplicating the feat by the original Naked News (a pornographic website featuring real television newscast), Naked News Korea had 9 female news anchors where they will strip to their bikinis, and sometimes topless as they read the news feed.

The Korean news anchors, however, were not paid their salaries and the subscribers paid for only 'topless' news feed before it was wound up. The Korean Labor Ministry and the police had started investigating the fraud allegations against the CEO, John Chau.

Well, I didn't knew the News broadcast can be this interesting that the anchors gotta strip while presenting news. Perhaps the Singaporean Government can start a similar news broadcast to hook those men back on national tv. ChannelNewsAsia might be topping the world chart if they have a small section for ChannelNakedNewsAsia.

=X

Dunch Noe on NPNT

2009-08-12T14:30:00.003+08:00

Yes, I am grossly aware of NPNT and as such I had placed a photo of myself in this blog. While, I am capable of uploading more pictures of myself, I am afraid that the rest may not be able to stomach other pictures of myself. Technically, this is my best photo and it is the best interpretation of me.

Dunch Noe on the Arts

2009-08-11T11:24:00.006+08:00

Arts as per the dictionary meaning :

the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.

Thus, anything abstract or profound can be arts. So, the same applies here. My blog is abstract, profound and beyond your imagination.

I am artistic, literally. No words play in the sentence. Use your imagination.

$^@#^&$^@#^&$&*%^&*%^#*%#^*^%#*&^%#&#%^&%#^&%#^&%#^&^%#&%^ my job.
amp;*%^&*%^#*%#^*^%#*&^%#&#%^&%#^&%#^&%#^&^%#&%^ my job.

=P

Update on Rapplez US

2009-08-09T00:34:00.001+08:00

Take note: the server has been chosen, we're gg to re-establish on Salamander

ign: WanteDxxx where xxx stands for sth that represents u..

for my case, its WanteDA01 to 07; DA stands for Death Aura.. i kill ppl in my parties.

see u all there soon

Dunch Noe on Backdoor

2009-08-08T12:00:00.004+08:00

Simple backdoor for people who are having difficulties bypassing security settings.

1. Mail filters that perform attachment stripping even for password protected zip files with executable files.

Ans: There are two ways to bypass this. Rename the extension or remove the extension of the file you are placing in the password protected zip file. Alternatively, encrypt the zip file again into a new zip file.

2. Password Policy - Password History

Ans: Most password history maintains 3 to 5 generations of passwords. Thus, you are unable to re-use the password. A simple way to bypass is to change the password for six times before changing back to your favorite password. Change it to Pas$0001, Pas$0002, Pas$0003, Pas$0004, Pas$0005 and back to your old password. You can re-use your password again now.

3. Proxy Bypass

Ans: Having your favorite game site blocked by the proxy in your school? Try using web proxy bypass in free website like toolforschool.com. Most proxies are rather outdated and easily bypassed. You might even be able to go to sites like www.playboy.com or www.penthouse.com. However, if you are having some serious problem with bypassing proxy due to effective proxy maintenance by the proxy vendor such as bluecoat engine, you may try to configure a proxy bypass script at your home pc to act as a redirect. Best of all, configure your home PC to have a switchable proxy bypass script i.e. You only switch it on when you need it. No administrator is good enough to handle a proxy bypass that is offline without proper admin password. Bye Bye, bluecoat.

Of course, if you have any other suggestions to bypass weak programming designs, do share with me.

Compensation Package

2009-08-08T00:10:00.004+08:00

Rappelz SEA just released some compensation package redeemable from august 31st.

Now all i have to do is decide on which server to migrate to and hope everyone comes along with me.

If any of you are interested in joinin us in Rappelz USA pls update either here or guild forums (will sms all of u when stupid dunch noe updates the forum.)

LETS CREATE AN ALL SB RP user GUILD! With Dark magicians, Soul breeders, Battle Summoners, Bishops..

Let's pwn them all with our rps!

and not to forget, a quote from our favourite abhuva "my pew pew pwns ur arse"

Dunch Noe on National Day

2009-08-07T08:56:00.005+08:00

Sunday is the National Day but in the corporate world, we are oblivious to the importance of it.

The 'Independence' of Singapore is never celebrated in the corporate world. To the people in the corporate world, Singapore was never independent.

Singapore depends on water purchases from neighbouring countries. Without which, all the livelihood of the Singapore will be a disaster. Other than oxygen, water is the world most precious commodity which the island (I don't think Singapore is a country) is lacking. In the past, Singapore is extremely dependent on Johor Water. With the desalination plants that makes marine water drinkable and NEWater plants that makes our piss drinkable, we slowly reduce the dependency of our neighbours. However, with the targeted population in Singapore, I think we will eventually drink water from our humid air via Condensation Plants.

Food, another necessity, is purchased from neighbouring countries such as Thailand (our main supplier of rice), Malaysia (vegetables, poultry and meat), Indonesia (fish, vegetables and meat). With our staple diet sourcing from various countries, we have subjected ourselves to possible famine when there is bird flu, swine flu, chicken flu, H1N1, H2N2, H3N3, mad cow disease, crazy pig influenza, moronic bird illness. Since there is almost zero production in Singapore to produce what we require to eat, I will suggest a constant diet of human flesh, possibly cooked in various style like boneless human rice, lang kut teh, human chop, nasi orang etc.

Now, another lack of natural resource that Singapore encounters is the lack of land. Land, being an important resource for building and growth, can slow down the growth of a powerful nation when the nation is facing a shortage of. Being a smaller country, with a relatively small (humji) population size, it is not possible to utilize the methods which Genghis Khan, Caesar, Hannibal etc have employed. Thus, land conquest is not likely to occur in a trillion years. Maybe in 2 trillion years time, Singapore will invade Malaysia. Thus, the island needs to look at space conquest with specialized foreign talents recruited from Mars and Venus to look for asteroids that can increase the land size of Singapore. One such destination is the moon.

Once we manage to be self-sufficient in all these 3 areas, we can finally declare our nation's independence.

Did anyone mention oil?

=P

Dunch Noe on the Tote Bags women carry

2009-08-06T09:15:00.014+08:00

With their diminutive figures, guys like myself always wonder, why does a woman carry a tote bag full of 'necessities'? Of course, below is a convenient make-up list of the items that are usually found in a woman's bag from experience. I got enough experience with different women to know what they usually have. Luckily, Dunch Care doesn't have most of the items listed below in her bag.

Here's the list:

1. Make-up kit
Reason: Women need to touch up their ICI Deluxe because it doesn't stay there permanently. Apparently, clowns also require to bring a tote bag with a make-up kit and the plastic nose to go with it.

2. Tissue
Reason: When you need to clean yourself, the tissue paper is always handy. The toilet runs out of toilet paper, the tissue paper is always handy. Of course, it is not so handy to the toilet cleaner who finds the toilet bowl choked with 3 ply tissue paper. The skin of women is delicate. So their ass cheek is also delicate.

3. Wet Tissue
Reason: ~~To make themselves wet~~. Okay, no kidding. You have 3 ply tissue paper and whoa, wet tissue? Yes, unfortunately for ill-informed guys, wet tissue is part of the make-up kit. Why can't women use the 3 ply tissue, wet it and re-do their make-up? That's because the 3 ply dry ones is for the toilets, you fool!

4. ~~ATM card~~ Credit Card
Reason: The true advocate of my money is my money and other people's money is my money will be the Credit Card holders. Except that, the bank comes back to haunt and cheat them of their savings. Women, pampered with the ideology that the money inside the bank is untouchable, are now armed with the latest arsenal of other people's money. Best of all, you don't need to queue with this.

5. ~~Oil~~ Face Blotter
Reason: The wet tissue usually fail miserably when water isn't sufficient to isolate the pecks of dirt clogged by the grease, as such, handy creations such as Face Blotter is the new introduction to the family of ICI Deluxe companions. Well, you might be saying that our body will replace these essential lubricant again, and so whenever they are out, Women have a FULL COMPLETE set of unused face blotter. Now, did anyone mention irritation?

6. Perfume
Reason: To disguise their horrible stench comes the ultra eco-friendly scent. Often comes in flowery or fruity scent, strong doses of these perfume can cause perverts to have a splitting headaches and hangover. It also acts as a "pepper spray" that activates the 'stun' status on their victims when used on the eyes of perverts. It packs a punch!

7. Umbrella
Reason: Weather forecast is no longer an issue. Rain or Shine, these ultra handy shrinkable helps women move over all terrain in all weather. Of course, when the "pepper spray" fails, you arm yourself with the +5 atk 1-hand umbrella with a 1/1 durability. Who knows the dark alleys contains pervy men?

8. Sanitary Pads/Tampons
Reason: You don't know when a woman need them as the calendar of a woman can be screwed up at times. No questions asked, fickle is the word, period. Pun intended.

9. Publications
Reason: To improve the image of women as intelligent species, some women carry the papers like Wall Street Journal, Times, etc. However, they are frequently found carrying them, ~~but seldom leafing through the articles~~. The romantic would bring a novel for the boring ride on the bus, train, taxi and the toilet ride. The fashionable will always have the trendy fashion magazines which probably contains more advertisements than what they get on their little trips. The pious will carry the law of the holy one, bible, and usually they are found savoring the intriguing words. However, you will hardly see the following: Map. Lost aren't we?

10. Water Bottle containing suspicious liquid
Reason: Water is essential for good health. Water is a necessity. Water is bottled and bottled water is heavy.

11. ~~Cigarettes~~ Make-up kit 2
Reason: You won't find cigarettes in a tote bag for goodness sake. The ladies don't carry cigarettes or lighters or any puffing device. These are all kept in the metal container. No, it is not a specialized cigarette box, it is make-up kit 2.

12. Pencil Case
Reason: Unknowingly, if you bring a tote bag without a writing tool, you will be belittled by the men. So bring a pencil case to show off your collection of beautiful markers, pens, pencils, erasers, rulers, stapler, staples, right-angle protractor, highlighters, etc, which hardly even been used for more than 2 times.

13. Nail clipper, nail file and nail polish
Reason: Nails are weapons for women. They give +2 attack damage when maintained properly. To inflict better damage, a nail file is used to sharpen the edges to add a +1 damage. Nail polish is for lubricating the weapon to prevent ~~rust~~, no I mean prevent it from breaking.

14. A pair of cosmetic scissors
Reason: Hair, they say, grow in strange places. Women, strange creatures they are, cut them with it.

15. Handphone, spare batteries and charger
Reason: A woman without a handphone is incomplete. A handphone without battery power is incomplete. The public phone is for construction workers.

16. Sewing Kit
Reason: When the Credit Card fails, and the clothes fail, you have a sewing kit that rescues your life. Of course, why are the clothing skin tight, you ask. That's because they have sewing kit to prevent them from exploding into pieces.

17. Home keys, office keys, car keys.
Reason: Why do you need your office keys you are not in office? Because the bag is big. Why did you carry the home keys with you in the tote bag when you shop? Because the bag is big and the car is small.

18. Notepad
Reason: When you can't remember anything, write them down. When you write them down, you don't need to remember anything. When you are asked about something, you fidget and look for the notepad in the big tote bag, then people will not ask you anything, anymore.

19. Sunglasses
Reason: The sunglasses gives a +3 personality and +5 charm when worn. The sunglasses also gives a -10 defence again sunlight. The sunglasses also give a cloaking effect to the bruised eye.

20. Membership Cards of 1000 retailers, 500 fitness and spa clubs
Reason: You get extra discount with a member card on a sales day. Of course, bargain prices are hard to get and extra discount is whoosh, wheeee, wow and woo-hoo. Excess baggage, don't worry about it madam, you buy, you can get your servant, the guy to carry.

21. Receipts of 1000 purchases
Reason: Spend $400 on shoes in one receipt and get a lifetime membership. Else, you can combine your receipts to $400 and get a lifetime membership. You can also bring the receipt to our sister shop, the BIGBAGSTORE, to enjoy a 5% discount on bags for your next purchase within 30 days.

22. Hello Kitty plasters
Reason: You don't know when you bleed. Sounds like item 8.

23. Hair clip and hair band
Reason: I am sure I don't like fish and chips and hair.

24. Movie ticket stubs
Reason: You can use them to recall what movie you have watched.

25. MP3 player and a pair of earphones
Reason: Trendy ear muffs for noise pollution.

26. Business cards
Reason: People listen to you when you start distributing them.

27. Battery operated fan
Reason: The weather is very hot. Using the fan will -3 to heat but +2 to weight.

28. Contact Lens solution
Reason: The solution to spectacles.

29. Spectacles
Reason: When you run out of the solution.

30. Shaver
Reason: Refer to item 14. Sometimes, there are more than 1 strand of hair that requires removal and thus, a shaver corrects that.

31. Hand held mirror bigger than the one in the make-up kit
Reason: We understand that light travels in straight line and you need 2 mirrors to see the back of the head.

32. Calculator
Reason: Did the sales man say that 50% discount for the second item is a better bargain than 30% discount? Item A is 10 bucks. Item B is 10 bucks. (10 + 50% of 10 )- (70% of 10 x 2). Now gimme a calculator for that.

33. Torchlight
Reason: Always in the dark due to item 7 & 19, they require the torchlight to lit their ways.

34. Sweets
Reason: To help sore throats. To prevent giddiness.

35. Comb and hair spray
Reason: The ideal package that defends the position of the hair.

36. Paracetamol
Reason: To be used together with item 10. This cancels the status effect 'Giddiness'.

37. Other drugs
Reason: Probably medical kit sufficient to +200 to HP.

38. Passport and IC
Reason: For those frequently on the run, the woman had a stronger urge to run away from the country.

39. Bank Book
Reason: This is to help robbers know that they can rob me a second time.

40. Driving Licence
Reason: Somehow, men like to leave these on the car/wallet. Women like to keep them in the tote bag. Perhaps it is more convincing to the police when you lose your passport, ic and driving licence.

41. Organiser
Reason: Because women need them.

42. Pack of 3 ~~Condoms~~ balloons
Reason: Sometimes, this can save many lives.

Dunch Noe why no pay rise?

2009-08-05T12:09:00.006+08:00

My company can give bonuses up till 2 months for all staff during 'economic' crisis.

Can hire many temp and new staff.

But unable to increase my pay.

Can anyone tell me what is freaking wrong with the Company?

=X

Dunch Noe on Oooooo-MANNNN

2009-08-04T14:43:00.003+08:00

Holy crap, if you are buying my 'hiatus' I think you are wrong. I am too bored at work.

As I was talking about Singaporeans with poor English, I chanced upon a Mr Uman Uman Uman Uman.

Me: Can I have your full name, sir?

Mr Uman, son of Uman, son of Uman, son of Uman: Uman.

Me: Ok sir, can I have your family name?

Mr Uman, son of Uman, son of Uman, son of Uman: Uman.

Me: Uman, can I have your given name?

Mr Uman, son of Uman, son of Uman, son of Uman: Uman.

*sweat drops*

I thought Ms Chen Chen Chen Chen is bad enough. Now I have Uman, son of Uman, son of Uman and Uman.

Dunch Noe on Why Singaporeans need to work on their English and Listening Skills

2009-08-04T09:54:00.004+08:00

Seriously, Singaporeans are bad listeners. They have poor command of English and as a Singaporean, I'm not denying they are probably the worst customers I had come across.

With such bad language skills, they are still demanding.

Many of you may have heard this Epic in person from me.

Untee: I cannot see anything on my computer.

Me: Madam, are you referring to your computer screen? Can you tell me what is it that you cannot see on your computer.

Untee: I see a blank page.

Me: Okay, you see a blank page. Can you describe the blank page to me? Is it white in colour, blue in colour or black in colour?

Untee: I cannot see anything.

Me: I understand you are unable to see anything, but can you tell me was your monitor switched on?

Untee: I see a blank page.

*pukes blood*

This is the standard moronic reply I get day in day out. Seriously, if you are guilty of this type of moronic reply, please bang your head against the wall to save the resources.

Dunch Noe on hiatus

2009-08-03T20:09:00.004+08:00

Ever since I add Dunch Care in this blog, I had an unnerving feeling of the epic disaster you can have is a lousy co-author for the blog.

Of course, the worst part of it is that the co-author refuses responsibility for defacing the blog.

As such, I shall abandon this outpost until I feel like it.

*the attempt to blame the co-author seemed a good strategy for no updates*

someone i tot is very dao

2009-08-03T20:06:00.002+08:00

smiled at me today...

omg....

HI

2009-07-31T20:55:00.002+08:00

First time posting here.

Dunch Noe is an idiot.

Good night

Dunch Noe can add Dunch Care in Blogger

2009-07-31T13:48:00.005+08:00

Oops.

Looks like it was my bad.

Having people you know who are professional bloggers sometimes can give you some tips. Apparently, adding other authors is allowed.

But how about guest entries?

=X

Dunch Noe and Dunch Care

2009-07-31T10:19:00.010+08:00

Being the nice IT guy, I decided to introduce Dunch Care whom I will grant the authority to co-author this blog.

However, somehow due to the technical limitations of blogger, Dunch Care might not be able to co-author her rubbish here.

You see, unlike books, blogs are like personal diaries with thumbprint scanner. They allow people to snoop, view, deface it with comments but they refuse to allow co-authoring. Without the correct thumb, you see a fierce Gandalf screaming 'Thou shalt not pass'. Of course, the electronic form of Gandalf is called blogger.

Which is my question today. Why did it never occur to the developers to integrate such a feature into blogger?

I mean, you get guest speakers at TV shows, you get guest DJs in pubs, but no guest author in blogger?

Maybe they could allow co-authors in the future. Why didn't anyone think about that?

=X

Dunch Noe the Domain

2009-07-30T19:48:00.007+08:00

If you are thinking of creating a domain name, remember the following rules:

1 - Register a domain name that is simple to remember. Anything too long becomes a horror when typing.

2 - Remember that you may make a boo-boo if the domain name sounds normal when you have the correct letter in upper case. The truth is when you type that case doesn't matter. (e.g. TeachersTalk can also be TeacherStalk) You may refer to www.teacherstalk.co.uk for a live example.

3 - A dot com is always the top priority when registering a domain name. You lose the traffic if you have the dot biz name when there is already a dot com name already registered.

4 - Never ever name a domain after a person, a company or a product. Losing the domain name due to law can really screw up any plans you have for the site.

5 - Try to perform a search for the particular name on the Internet and see the results. If it is cool, you get more results. Similarly, the chance of a lawsuit is higher. Unless you are extremely sure no-one fighting you for it, go in for the whoa factor.

6 - Always have more than one cool name for your domain. You can always ask around friends which is better for you or your products. Of course, never ask your customers.

7 - Kids know the best. If a kid can remember and if a kid can like it, adults will like it. Well, I'm not telling you to name it Pokemon though.

8 - When registering domain, remember you will be likely to register an e-mail account in the same domain. So avoid names that sound extremely silly for a mail account.

9 - Lastly, always check the spam blacklists around the world if the domain name owner had the domain blacklisted. You might be feeling sorry for yourself if your mail account with your cool account name is always undeliverable.

=P

Dunch Noe the answers Part II of III

2009-07-30T09:34:00.013+08:00

Advanced Quiz (30 points):

- What is the file attributes in MS-DOS?
Ans: Read-only, Hidden, System and Archive.

- What is the META tag in HTML used for?
Ans: As per the original meaning of META, it is used to describe the content of the HTML document. Search Engines usually use the META tag to help the improve the ranking of the pages. However, due to common exploitation (e.g repeated words) to increase ranking algorithms on search engines, the META tag is given lower priority than it used to.

- Define Hardware, Middleware, Software, Firmware.
Ans: Hardware is the physical component of a computer. Software is the application that follows the software designer's design to perform certain tasks in a computer. Middleware is the software application that connects different software. Firmware is the programmed software that resides in RAM on mainboard or other hardware. (E.g - A mouse is a hardware, Microsoft Word is a software, GameGuard is a middleware used against hackers used by many online games, the program that resides in your remote controls is the firmware)

- Define Spyware, Adware, Malware, Trojan, Virus and Worm.
Ans: Malware is a software designed to perform malicious tasks on a User's PC without the User's consents, thus the shortened name of malicious software. Adware is a software designed within a running application to provide advertisement content, usually by obtaining 'inputs' from the user's behaviour on the Internet. Spyware is a malware designed to obtain information especially about the user's behaviour without the User's content. Trojan (short for trojan horse) is a type of malware that acts like a safe software but allows access for malicious codes/access to the User's system. Virus is a type of computer software that replicates itself on the user's system on existing files and any other unsuspecting hosts. Worm is a type of computer software that replicates itself on the user's system and any other unsuspecting hosts without attaching to an existing file.

- What is the print command in MS-DOS?
Ans: The command is copy for MS-DOS and for ver 2, print was introduced. The common command line is to copy to the LPT port.

- List 2 examples of ~~binary~~ dot-matrix printing and text printing commands in MS-DOS.
Ans: There is no dot-matrix printing in MS-DOS without any other installed applications (Note: the word binary was a mistake). All printing of documents within MS-DOS is character-based. The sample command line of a print function is [ copy name.txt lptx ] where name is the 8 character name of the file and lptx where X is the lpt port number. In MS-DOS version 2 with the introduction of the print command. An example is [ print name.txt ] .

Dunch Noe versus Untee from Public

2009-07-29T14:55:00.006+08:00

Whoa, another Untee again. This time, a member of the public.

Me: Madam, we had resent the mail from our application server and the mail was successfully sent. Thus, if you had not received both mails, please note that we had tested on another Yahoo! account and confirmed that mails can be delivered but moved to the Junk Folder. Thus, you may be required to check your junk mail folder.

Untee: I did not receive the mail.

Me: Madam, you may have to check with Yahoo! on the mail from us as our server logs showed that mail was successfully sent. If you are unable to retrieve the mail, we can resend the mail. However, we cannot provide any instructions on how to retrieve your mail as we are not the mail provider for your account in Yahoo!

Untee: So how come I didn't receive the mail?

*suicides* There should be a function on the keyboard to kill people who doesn't even listen. =(

Dunch Noe the answers Part I of III

2009-07-29T10:38:00.008+08:00

Beginner Quiz (30 points):

- What is the function of the [Enter] key?
Ans : Depending on the application, the common response of the [Enter] key is the carriage return. In some word processor applications, it acts as a line feed. At other times, it acts as both a carriage return and line feed depending on the application.

- How do you use the mouse to imitate the keyboard on WinXP?
Ans : In a sticky situation where your ~~mouse~~ keyboard fails to function, you can use the on-screen keyboard that comes with Windows. Using your mouse, go to Windows default folder via My Computer. Access the folder named System32 and look for an executable file named osk.exe. Once osk.exe is running, you can click on the on-screen keyboard to act like your keyboard. Pretty useful for laptops with damaged keys.

- How do you check your router home address without the router instructional booklet?
Ans: The default home address for your router is the IP for your router. To verify the IP of your router, simply perform ipconfig/all in command prompt or right click on the LAN connection status on your system tray near your system clock. Look for the values for your default gateway. The default gateway is the router's IP. Enter the same values in your browser and you should be able to access the router page.

- What does the MODEM do?
Ans: The MODEM (short for modulator/de-modulator) functions as a transmitter to convert data (digital information) to signal (analog information) and vice versa. Different MODEM is used for different mediums, such as cable modem, for co-axial cable, DSL modem for telephony cables etc.

- How do you force Internet Explorer to bypass the pop-up blockers using your keyboard and mouse only? (Without disabling the pop-up blocker settings)
Ans: Hold the CTRL key on your keyboard and left click with your mouse. This will bypass the pop-up blocker function on Internet Explorer and the 3rd party toolbars. Oftenly, other pop-up blockers associated with Anti-Virus or firewalls also recognise the bypass.

- How do you check a mail domain if the mail domain exists?
Ans: Perform a nslookup on the MX. If a nslookup on the MX shows that the mail domain does not exist. Check on a different network, if possible in a different country. Usually, updates on the MX should be parallel across providers, but to an extent this is true. When the replication of the MX records from the parent ISP to the child ISP is not successful, there is a possibility where the lookup failed even though the MX exists for other networks. By checking with more than one providers, especially from different countries, one can safely confirm that the mail domain does not exist if both return negative results.

- What is the default port for FTP connection?
Ans: The default port for FTP is 20 and 21.

- What is the default port for ICMP connection?
Ans: ICMP does not use port. If you put port 7, that is the default echo port which is wrong.

- What is the predefined hostname in Windows reserved for your PC?
Ans: The hostname is localhost.

- What is the minimum hardware configuration required for an IBM PC?
Ans: Power Supply Unit, Motherboard, RAM, CPU, Monitor, Video Card and Keyboard. Things that are not required - Hard disk drive, optical disk drives, mouse, sound card and casing. Many amateurs call the system unit as CPU which is wrong. The system unit comprises of the motherboard, power supply unit, video card, sound card etc in the tower casing.

Dunch Noe Windows/IT Quiz

2009-07-28T12:27:00.009+08:00

If you google-d or wiki-ed the answers, you ought to give yourself a 0/100.

Below are the questions.

Beginner Quiz (30 points):

- What is the function of the [Enter] key? 2 points
- How do you use the mouse to imitate the keyboard on WinXP? 2 points
- How do you check your router home address without the router instructional booklet? 3 points
- What does the MODEM do? 5 points
- How do you force Internet Explorer to bypass the pop-up blockers using your keyboard and mouse only? (Without disabling the pop-up blocker settings) 3 points
- How do you check a mail domain if the mail domain exists? 5 points
- What is the default port for FTP connection? 1 point
- What is the default port for ICMP connection? 1 point
- What is the predefined hostname in Windows reserved for your PC? 2 points
- What is the minimum hardware configuration required for an IBM PC? 6 points

Advanced Quiz (30 points):
- What is the file attributes in MS-DOS? 4 points
- What is the META tag in HTML used for? 4 points
- Define Hardware, Middleware, Software, Firmware. 4 points
- Define Spyware, Adware, Malware, Trojan, Virus and Worm. 6 points
- What is the print command in MS-DOS? 4 points
- List 2 examples of binary printing and text printing commands in MS-DOS. 8 points

Intermediate Quiz (20 points):
- Explain the role of IETF in IAB. 10 points
- Explain lossy data compression for mpeg, jpeg and mp3. 6 points
- Relate mp3 to mpeg. 2 points
- What does mpeg and jpeg stand for? 2 points

Expert Quiz (20 points):
- Calculate how many light bulbs are required to represent 5 megabyte. 2 points
- Explain registered jack and modular plugs. 3 points
- Explain roles of FSB and PCI Bus. 2 points
- Differentiate SFTP, FTPS, FTP and FTP over SSH. 8 points
- Explain Usage of LDAP, OCSP, and CRL in a PKI. 5 points

Dunch Noe dunch sleep

2009-07-28T02:56:00.013+08:00

Wait, what am I doing here at 2.30am messing with this blog? Seriously, I need some rest. Tried to sleep but my stomach is bloated and causing me much grief.

Here's some food for your thought:

Ever wonder why some game providers failed to deliver? Well, an mmorpg <<many men online role-playing girls>> I was playing since dec '08 decided to close shop and I knew about the closure since jun '09 (that the announcement is coming aug '09 whether it will continue or close in sep '09). Somehow, it was insider's information so I doubt that I'll share much details. I could only say that one insider revealed that the contract didn't worked out to both parties' benefits.

Simple analogy in much business sense. Content seller wants royalties and control over price to avoid one provider selling product cheaper than another. Provider wants control over price over products to appeal and have a wider consumer base in a small community. Mutual disagreement and thus early termination of contract.

The victors here are the gamers who enjoyed the content without any price. The losers? Both the content seller and provider. However, in this episode, due to the fact that provider is operating a business and already signed a non-disclosure agreement, our victors are absolutely upset with the provider when the provider refused to provide any information on the episode.

Let us draw up a picture using food in this story.

Assuming content seller is providing the machinery to make good juice and the maintenance for the juice maker, provider staffed the machinery and paid for rental (internet/hardware). Consumers are now getting upset that their favorite 'free' fruit juice is no longer available. They scold the provider, saying they spend so much time getting used to the 'free' fruit juice, and are willing to pay for it for the additional toppings but the provider wouldn't shed a light on why the shop was closed.

Now, the consumers enjoyed the juice free. The additional toppings which the content seller will charge heavily for cannot be sold without approval from the content seller due to the agreement. The provider who spent the time providing the juice free, tried to negotiate with the content seller to sell the toppings cheaper so that they can appeal to more people from the small hawker centre crowd. They failed and as the juice itself cannot be sold at any price to the consumers, they decided to wind-up the business.

As the moral of the story goes without saying, nothing in this world comes free without a price, our consumers still gets upset with the provider for closing their favorite free juice store. Price of providing free content? Angry consumers facing withdrawal symptom. =)

*winks* I am not-so-bothered. There are many other free drinks around.

Dunch Noe MAC ID

2009-07-27T12:17:00.007+08:00

Have you ever seen a machine ID like this?

00:17:SE:0T:7O:CP

Of course, a IT specialist without degree like me would have only seen machine ID like this:

00:17:FE:0D:70:CB

Which is why I am curious how these IT Specialists get their degrees.

*faints* =X

Dunch Noe versus Savvy untee

2009-07-24T19:25:00.005+08:00

Gosh, I'm ranting almost immediately in my first blog post when this not-so-savvy untee was speeking to me today. Yeah, I was flabbergasted by this delusional, self-proclaimed, expert who works in the IT industry.

Me: Good afternoon, how may I assist you?

Untee (supposedly an IT specialist too): There is a problem with the mail delivery, please check if the server has some block to filter the mail from this sender. I have sent you an e-mail on the issue.

*I went through my e-mail, finds the mail from the untee stating the IP of the sending server, sender's e-mail address, date and time mail was sent, recipient's e-mail address.*

Me: Alright, I'll check it out and get back to you.

*Half an hour later*

Me: Okay, I did a search on the mail gateway but could not find any attempt by the application server which the sender was sending from on my server logs. Based on the server logs, there were connection attempts by many other senders but I cannot find the IP of the application server which your user is having a problem receiving. Similarly, I did another check on the entries and found that user was able to receive mail successfully. I also did a search on my blocked sender lists and confirmed that the IP is not in the block list. Can you please get the sender to provide the logs from their server to show that an attempt was made to connect to our servers.

*1 day later, our untee call back*

Me: Good afternoon, so was your sender able to provide the connection logs?

Untee: I talked with the server team hor, they say that the mail was rejected hor at your end. Can you check again?

Me: Look, we cannot find any attempts made by the sender to connect to our server. The mail was not rejected on our end.

Untee *interrupts profusely, acting the Guru*: Don't bluff lah, everytime you all say not rejected but in the end your mail filter always block the mail one. You sure you checked or not, or you don't know how to check? The user cannot receive mail leh, you all provide mail but mail didn't reach the recipient is your fault lor. You all must check.

Me: Look, imagine the mail provider as a BANK, your user as an account owner with the bank. Imagine the mail as cash that is about to be deposited into the bank. The mail filter as the security guards in the bank. Please note that our security cameras installed in the bank did not capture the person who was trying to help the user deposit the cash in the bank. The person did not appear at the bank's door. You do not tell the bank to find the person who is supposed to deposit the cash.

Untee: So who am I supposed to ask, since you are the mail provider? Is this the type of service you are providing?

Me: Go and ask the person who is supposed to deposit the cash aka your sender. The sender didn't even reach our doors.

*Another day later*

Me: Good morning, so have you managed to get the logs?

Untee: Why you all check so long, still no mail send to the user?

Me: Can I speak with the desktop engineer handling this issue, I think he can answer me better.

*Untee hangs up* =/